Self Blame

“Even strong women aren’t perfect. Like anyone they make mistakes. But they own up to it too. They apologize and that’s it. They will never dwell on the past or let it dictate their present. They will never overanalyze things wishing they did something different. If you aren’t calling her back or giving her the light of day she’s not going to blame herself for that.”

— excerpt, 15 Things Strong Women Don’t Tolerate in a Relationship by Thinker N of

I was not a strong woman. My freaking ex husband ended up going on the Dr. Phil show twenty plus years after our divorce… abusing his new wife and family using the same behavior patterns and hoovering words.

I was not a strong woman. I was a SURVIVOR.

I am surviving and thriving.

I am a BEAST — the kind that lives in Word Castles, daydreaming of saving princes who have been weakened by gaslighting villains and cursed by well-meaning but socially misguided enchantresses.

I am not a “man” — or a human in the eyes of most people (as best as my Aspie HSP Empath self has the ability to tell.

I am a MON-STAR. And this is my story.

Like it or go read someplace else.

It’s my subjective observations about the life and social relationships as well as sensory experiences I have had. No other human in body knows what I do about how it feels to be me, myself, and I — and they don’t know a damn thing about any of my conversations with Irene while we spent time jaunting about the Low Country together, playing in traffic on our play dates or while we were out hunting for treasure and shaman shopping while “antiquing”.