Narcissists love to use words to hurt other people. It’s their favorite thing to do with their mouth other than eating, talking bad or disingenuously to or about someone in order to cause their Preferred Scapegoats misery.
If you hear a person who uses the following types of key terms and key phrase combinations gists on other people — especially when and if they are speaking to or about someone they know closely or quite personally — be mindful you are listening to a skilled and socially sophisticated Narcissistic Abuse Groomer.
Creating self-doubt and confusion is one of their most damaging to NLP and social life of a targeted victim they persecute. Step one is to trick a child into believing that if someone else was not present aside from the Abuser to witness abuse that whether or not they experienced being harmed is a question of their word against a gaslighter.
A historical example of a Narcissist empowered to do harm to himself neurologically while socially and medically being able to by default to harm others comes from American History can academically be cited and researched for social veracity as follows:
Benjamin Franklin — a notorious drunk, Cluster B person, content thief, and date rapist — made sure it was the Abuser’s word that is legally taken over a traumatized party every time in United States law for a very self-serving reason that was and remains far more rooted in Narcissism and the belief that Cluster B people are above the law more than anything. He appears on every $100 bill in America, acting as an ever-present reminder that if a non-Cluster B person strives to pursue social justice that they will be shamed and shunned in the pretend humanitarian nation. Working in unison with other known Narcissists who liked to engage in socially deplorable behavior and hoped to do so successfully throughout their lifetime without consequence did things like take human rights away from females using force and deception then made people of color unlike theirs three-fifths people in the eyes of the law so they would always be dependent Codependents.
Your word against reality is what they hope to trick you into believing is somehow according to moral life and things like simple modern physics a reality. It’s not a joke — and when you express dismay at their toxic assertions, understand when they pretend you have “no sense of humor” that not only do they know full well whatever they did or said was hurtful but that they meant it to hurt you and planned the entire time to get away with saying or doing whatever it was that caused you duress or social embarrassment.
Creating confusion and mind-numbingly unnecessary drama is step two. You know the type — they only want people involved with them who are being grossly inconvenienced or giving up something to assist the Narcissist with their socially and emotionally hedonistic “Me Me Me” type of attention-seeking demands.
The Narcissist wants to be the center of attention in targeted people’s worlds. They don’t tend to think farther than about who is in the room or to aggress whoever is trending on their computer screen at whatever moment their mind develops Narcissistic Injury related ego demanding attention.
The Narcissist manufacturing confusion will be obvious — but typically not until you have been skunked by one of them at least once. They are the type to have competing contractors show up to do work — who will then criticize and fail to pay one or all unless the person they finally reward will sacrifice and give to the point of harming themselves financially or physically to do the Narcissist’s work in return for the Social Predator abusing everyone’s hospitality who strives to please a customer and to take pride in their work.
In a home, siblings are constantly compared. In an office or social group, the Narcissist — having been taught by Toxic Parents and hospitality abusing caregivers in youth — will strive to recreate the truly flawed social dynamic.
Listen to the way they talk. Someone will always be praised (typically the person who the Narcissist praising will be whoever annoys kind people most) while the knife-like tongue wielding Narcissist will strive to triangulate, to malign, and to poison the well. Expect them to mix implied criticism with outright insults, to use words to make their targets feel awful, and to trick unsuspecting people into thinking the Hospitality Abuser is wonderful.
If they are the person in the role of MOMMY DEAREST or ENABLING HENCHMAN in their mind’s eye — expect them to strive to charm some using Sycophantic Behavior and to withhold social support and vital biological inclusion in their presentation of proffering a social support network.
The Alpha Social Predator is what they are — chips off the toxic parenting block who are destined to dominate their own personal social environment who (with luck) never make it socially much further than to have access to mistreat anyone other than themselves and their immediate “volunteering to be there and to socially interact with them” caregiver(s).
Using criticism, ad hominem attacks, promotion of socially competitive thinking, and blaming others so they can avoid taking any personal responsibility for who their words and actions harm is the Narcissist’s most common language and social behavior MO [modus operandi].
Blame Shifting while grooming Toxic Shame into the mind of their audience is the Stage Hypnosis Blurter’s biggest claim to civic and emotional fame.
“You are overthinking it…”
“You’re crazy… psychologically unstable… in need of help… need to have your eyes and hearing checked… you have no sense of humor…”
“Who are you going to believe — me or some stranger who claims that we’re cheating… that [the Abuser] is lying?”
… are all common things a Narcissist might say if someone confronts them about anything awful they have done or said.
Grandiose, above the law, and always scheming to see what they can get is the most accurate way to identify and to socially civically remember the Narcissist. What behavior they cannot deny successfully by outright lying they will flip on society and show no remorse for what they have said or done to cause someone else harm.
Whether or not their needs for toxic emotional and social attention are met is the number one goal of every one of their personal and professional conversations.
The Narcissist has many ploys in his toolbox that use key terms and phrases to spin conversations to their personal advantage — typically at the expense of their targets.