Narcissists thrive when people forgive and forget. People who are groomed by Toxic Shame Groomers to turn the other cheek and to hide abuse for an abuser tend to be the most harmed by their own enabling behaviors.
Codependent mindset is seldom collaborative and always socially competitive. Collaborative people tend to value things like the efforts and skillsets in others in a way narcissistic, sociopathic, and or socially transactional people do not.
When an Abuser abuses and their Narcissistic Harem tell their victims to forgive and forget they know exactly what they are doing. The social, as well as conversational goal, is to shut victims up so they — the Hospitality Abuser — and their Enablers are able to get away with socially harming or devaluing other people.
Reading about Narcissistic Abuse tactics that are common over on flyingmonkeysdenied.com can help folks figure out how to avoid getting trapped in social relationships or in extended dialog with such people.
The Narcissist’s number one goal in life is to neurochemically manufacture addictive neurochemicals such as the ones that produce Duper’s Delight.